2/23/15
We had a list of questions. A long list. I learned that if they had discovered the cord around her neck, the doctors would not have been alarmed. They see it all the time. Even if I made a big deal of her butt always pushing up against my right ribcage, and not feeling big movements on my left side, it wouldn’t have alarmed them. Babies generally favor the right side, she said. Her movement was consistent the whole pregnancy. She moved, but not enormously, and it stayed the same. There was no need to worry, the doctors said. Even if they saw the cord wrapped around her neck, they wouldn’t have changed anything. They deliver babies all the time with cords wrapped around their neck. And they live, they are healthy. For Quinn, the cord was not long enough. It didn’t have enough slack to let the oxygen pass through when I had contractions and as she descended down the birth canal. I asked the doctor if she suffered and if she was scared. She said, no, she went to sleep.
Dear Quinn, I pray that you did not suffer. That you do not know hurt or pain. That you were not scared. That you felt my love. That you know my sorrow.
Dear Quinn, I pray that you did not suffer. That you do not know hurt or pain. That you were not scared. That you felt my love. That you know my sorrow.
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