Where's the baby?

I texted this picture to Josh and a good friend titled, “Where’s the baby?!”  

We were so naïve.  We had no idea what the future held for us.  Josh and I didn’t find out the sex of Quinn beforehand because we always said, boy or girl all we want is a healthy baby.  We didn’t know we needed to wish for an alive healthy baby.  We had just assumed.  I still feel that phantom butt on my right side that presses up against my right ribcage.  I put my hand there thinking I’m going to feel my swollen belly and her little butt, but my hand is met with an aching memory of where she was.

I miss her so much.  Today marks the 2-week anniversary of her arrival.  I don’t know what to call it…her birth…her death…"her arrival" seems like the right words.  I wonder how long I will measure time this way.  There is a clear divide between the “before Quinn,” when we were hopeful, happy, and so excited for her to come and the “after Quinn,” when we would be forever changed. 

I wonder what she’d be like.  I wonder what she’d look like now.  Would she start to have that chubby baby face?  Would she be a good sleeper?  Would she be a snuggle bug?  Would she be up all night and sleep all day?  What would her demeanor be like?  How would R interact with her?  Would R love having a baby sister?  Would she be tender and caring?