Monday, March 16, 2015

One month

It has been one month since Quinn’s arrival.  I still feel like time has stopped and the world is buzzing around me as I stay frozen.  People come and go from their houses, R goes out for a play date, and here I am…my baby still gone.  It hurts just the same.  It was my father’s birthday the day Quinn arrived, and now, one month later it is my mother’s.  In the shadows of death there is life and celebration for others. 

Quinn’s memorial is this Saturday and I spent a good portion of the day preparing.  I came across the jar that holds her hair and I desperately wanted to open it, touch it, and smell it.  However, I wouldn’t let myself.  What if opening it made her smell escape or less pungent?  I couldn’t bear the thought of her smell escaping that jar so I kept it closed.  I wanted to leave her smell bottled up and untouched so I would always have it.

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