Snowy walk

Today I went on my walk alone.  It’s the walk I would go on during maternity leave.  The “ok I can do this, let’s get out of the house and get fresh air” with baby walk.  But today, as I went on the walk alone, there was no baby.  No baby inside me or outside me.  This was a sobering walk because I had to face that fact that she would never be with me on the walk.  She should be here, and she’s not.  She never will.  This is a moment I think I will have to face over and over in my life. 

However, I did see this: 

For a second I wondered if it was from Quinn.  Probably not.  It is definitely explained by the angle at which the slant in the sidewalk met the melting snow.  However, I am certain I saw it because of Quinn.  Before Quinn, I would have walked over it and I guarantee I would not have seen it.  But because of her, I can see the beauty of nature and the love – and symbols of – surrounding me.  I am a changed person now, and I am getting to know myself.  Even though I will struggle with deep heartbreak for a long time, I am so grateful that Quinn has awakened me to the beauty and love in the world.