Monday, June 22, 2015

A Father's Eulogy

In honor of Father's Day, I want to share my husband's eulogy from Quinn's memorial.  His words show his never ending love for his second daughter, Quinn, who was stillborn.  His love is raw and fills his whole heart.  How I wish I could turn back time and make him a father of two living children.  It crushes me to see him hurt and yearn for his daughter, as I do too, but I'm so proud of him for being true to himself and letting the world know his love for his precious girl.  

Infant death eulogy
Throughout the past ten months, we grew to know Quinn Amelia and to love her. Even though we never saw her smile, yawn, or heard her cry, we intimately knew several things that made her very special and real.

She did not care for bananas or chicken, but lemonade and lucky charms made her jump for joy and rejoice.

She was a night owl and liked to stay up way past her parents’ bedtime. She would get hiccups and poke her mother. And once Jessica got poked, she made sure that I participated, and poked me.

We knew what kind of music made her dance, and put her to rest; and what kind of stories she liked. 

We didn’t think she was wonderful just because she existed – we knew she was wonderful because we knew her and loved her as a whole, complete person.

She gave us a lifetime of memories and stories. She was our beautiful baby girl. And even in her death, we know that she will help us cope, understand, and heal.
And as the effect of her death will have upon our community – I know all of us here have already been touched by the passing of Quinn. All of us were looking forward to getting to know her better; all of us were looking forward to seeing her grow, learn, and play with her big sister Riley.

Hopefully, in her death we can gain a greater appreciation of that which life provides us, and a greater appreciation of what a great, wonderful miracle children truly are.

Our biggest blessing has been all of you. It is simply inconceivable to imagine how we would have traveled through this darkness without all of you. Thank you for your kind words, your thoughts, your prayers, your sympathy, and your care packages.

Some of you have moved mountains and stopped time to be here today, and you honor Quinn by your presence. Thank you all for coming here today to share in our final farewell to Quinn Amelia.

There can be nothing sadder than the death of a child. When we lose a parent, we lose a piece of our past. When we lose a child, we lose a piece of our future.

Though her body is gone, Quinn will live within us, and our love for each other. She is our special angel, who is now in the loving and embracing arms of her Grandma Cathy and God.

Jessica, thank you for giving me another beautiful baby girl, and know that I love you now and forever with all my heart and soul.

And to Quinn,

Drink some rainbow juice, eat a spoonful of snow, fly a race with hummingbirds, and watch a snowman grow.

Rub a moonbeam, listen to the clouds chatter, float into dreamland, and walk with butterflies.

Hold grandma’s hand and watch over your big sister. Please tell grandma I love her and miss her too.

Quinn Amelia, I give you my dreams, I give you my heart, and I give you all that I can, for you are my child. You are my angel, and I want you to soar. I want you to thrive. You have all my heart, all my love, forever.

Love, Daddy


  1. Oh my Jessica, this is so emotional! I liked to read the emotions of a father, as often the try to be the anchor for the family, the strong one...but this is so pure and heart felt.

    I relate so much to how loosing a child you loose your future - hit the nail on the head there ! Thinking of you all x

  2. Thank you Mary. Getting through Mother's Day and Father's Day were milestones this year. Tears still come to my eyes every time I read this.