Grief and loss are complex and influence many spheres of my
life, even though I don’t realize it. In
this journey toward healing, I go through periods where I write and reflect on
grief and healing, and periods where I am dry.
I’ve noticed that during the dry periods, the dark clouds start to creep
in on my horizon. As an introvert, I am
very introspective, but sometimes it’s hard to travel inward to the grief. There are times – days – weeks – where I want
to go back to my old self and live a “normal” life. I won’t journal, blog, or work on my “Daily Inspiration” project. I try to pretend like everything is OK and we are a normal happy family. However, I’m learning
that these are the days when I’m the saddest.
I’m learning that grief isn’t something that you can ignore
or run away from. It is always there. Period. After
your child dies, there are no more “normal” days. The only way to live with grief is to face it
head on. If you ignore it, the grief
will slowly creep in until it blurs your outlook and feelings. A good way to face the grief head on is to write
about it.
Writing to heal from grief is nothing new and has inspired great authors throughout history. More recently, grief led Joyce Carol Oates to write “A Widow’s Story” and Meghan O’Rourke to write “The Long Goodbye.” I resonated with much of what they describe in their New York Times article:
For me, writing is a way to process my ongoing grief and to express my memory and love for Quinn. After all, to grieve is to love. When the sadness creeps in, I have to remind myself of this every day.
In addition, doing my “Daily Inspiration”
project helps me put words to my grief each day. It allows me to think about one aspect of grief and healing and really meditate on it throughout the day. I didn't realize how healing this was until I took a small sabbatical from it. These are the daily inspirations that have
been especially healing to me lately:
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