Thursday, April 2, 2015

My eulogy - A letter to Quinn

Dear Quinn,

Thank you for making me a mother, again.  Being a mom is the world’s greatest gift and I couldn’t be luckier to be a mom of two beautiful girls.  I just wish, sweet Quinn, you didn’t have to leave me so soon. 

Your daddy and I spent one heavenly and glorious day with you.  I felt your weight in my arms and warmth on my chest, you were mine.  You were perfect and so beautiful.  Your skin was so soft, like an angel’s breath.  I watched you, and waited for your little eyes to flutter and your nose to wiggle.

Did you hear me sing to you?  Did you feel me rock you?  Did you feel me kiss you?  Did you feel me nuzzle my nose against yours?  Did you feel my warm tears cover your body?  I held you, put my finger in your hand and waited for your tiny little fingers to squeeze me back.

I will always ache for your angel soft skin against my chest and to smell your smell and your sweet breath.  In my dreams I will look into your eyes and get deeply lost in your gaze. 

I will live every day of the rest of my life for you and your sister, R.  I will celebrate you and honor you.  I am so proud to be your mom.  I will carry you in my heart, forever, until we can one day meet again.

I will always be looking for you, my love.  In the quiet of the mountains, in the brilliant light of a full moon, in the warm breeze of a summer’s night.  For every shooting star, every butterfly that flutters across my path, every chill across my neck, I will wonder if it’s you. 

Quinn, in your 280 days of physical existence on this planet, you taught me lessons that would have otherwise taken a lifetime, or maybe I wouldn’t have ever learned.  You have taught me the love of humanity.  You have showed me the good in other people and I have witnessed, through you sweet Quinn, the kindness that has poured out of the hearts of our family, friends, community, and even strangers.  I am humbled by your lessons, Quinn.  Thank you for allowing me to see and feel the love of those around me.  This is your gift to me Quinn.

Quinn, you are a Wilson and a beloved member of our wacky and silly family.  You will always be with us.  Look around and see the people who were ready to embrace you into the world, who now celebrate and honor you.  I hope you feel their love, as I do.  These are the people that will continue to celebrate your beautiful spirit each and every day. 

Precious Quinn, I hope you feel my love.  You warm my heart and fill my soul.  You are forever mine, baby girl.  I love you and I miss you.


1 comment:

  1. Thank you Jess for the raw beauty and honesty. Your words remind me of the privilege it is to be proud of your child, thank you.