Friday, April 22, 2016

The Deafening Silence

I was incredibly moved by a short film titled, “The Deafening Silence,” produced by the wonderful charity Abigail’s Footsteps.  The film is powerful, heart-wrenching, and an incredibly honest and accurate insight and voice to stillbirth.  Please view it here: 

There was so much that I identified with.  In particular, these jumped out:

Sean’s words, “It’s going to be OK,” echo the words my husband said, and was he ever wrong.  These words still rattle me and make me shutter.

Just as Louise experienced, hearing the other women in the hospital labor and their living babies’ cries through the walls was excruciating and haunting. 

Louise’s plea for a C-section: I made this same plea and desperation.  However, the doctors made me deliver vaginally, as did Louise.  Still to this day, delivering Quinn was the hardest thing I have ever done. 

Louise’s initial urge to not see her baby: I had this same feeling initially but she, as I did, came around and was delighted to see and care for her baby.  I had actually refused everything at first – to see her, hold her, pictures, footprints, etc.  My nurse arranged for the footprints and pictures anyway, telling me I could never get these back.  I didn’t have to look at them, but at least I would have them if I ever wanted them.  I thought it all would be too painful.  In reality, I would be living the biggest regret if I didn’t come around.  It was incredible to see and hold Quinn and these pictures and memories are the only thing I really have left of her. 

It feels comforting to have a resource that so accurately gives insight to stillbirth. 

I beg you to watch this film and share it with others to give a voice to stillbirth. 

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