The other night my husband asked me, “Why do you do it? Why do you have your blog and submit posts to
other sites?” It was a genuine, honest
question that he asked after reading my Quietrev.com post. It was a great question because it was an opportunity
for me to identify (in writing) the goals of my blog and other outreach
efforts. Below are the components of my
mission, which inspire me and give meaning to my writing.
Writing to heal. Above all, my blog and other writing
efforts serve as a reflective journal which helps me heal. It’s a space where I can thoughtfully consider
and question my grief – and grief in general – and devise a plan to put one
foot in front of the other and face another day of grief tomorrow. Through writing, I can join the complicated and emotional conversation about loss
and grief to try to better understand and travel through the journey. I have come to believe in writing therapy as
a very effective tool for the lifelong journey of loss.
Connecting with
others. In the days after Quinn’s
stillbirth, I felt so isolated and alone.
I did not know anyone in my community who experienced stillbirth. I felt like a statistic and not a human being
who was deeply hurting. The first social
website I was given by a friend was Glow in the Woods. This was the first place that put human faces
and stories to this horrible tragedy. Soon
after, I came across other less known blogs, which I stayed up reading for
hours. Finally, I came across Lindsey
Henke’s page, Stillborn and Still Breathing, which I read from start to end.
In each of these sites, I connected with people’s
stories and slowly began to feel less alone.
I was intrigued by the theme of hope in these pages, which seemed like
such a foreign possibility for me at the time.
Perhaps by writing my own story, a grieving parent will stumble across
it and feel a bit of comfort.
An activism platform. My blog and other online pursuits are a
platform for stillbirth advocacy and awareness.
It is a way to give voice to what I believe is a much underrepresented issue
in the United States. Some of the
isolation that I discuss above might have been lessened if stillbirth was more
openly discussed in the mainstream U.S. society.
Sharing our family’s story. In sharing stories with each other, we can
help each other heal. I’ve read
beautiful tributes written by parents to their deceased children. I have also gained wonderful and loving ideas
on how to include Quinn’s memory during the holidays, on special occasions, and
in the everyday from other sites. I hope
sharing our family’s stories contributes to this collective community of learning
to live with loss.
All of this boils down to one mission statement:
The mission of my blog is to provide a space
for myself and others to discuss and explore grief, loss, and healing. By sharing stories, experiences, and giving
voice to loss and stillbirth, we can give each other comfort and help each
other heal.
Have you identified your mission? To write one, ask yourself these questions:
- Why do I blog?
- What do I write about?
- Who do I write for?
- Who do I want to read my writing?
- What topics inspire me?
- What other blogs inspire me?
Keep it up!
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